Breaking News: It’s Not Millennials Fault They Suck At Life

how to not suck at life

I’m sure that by now you’ve seen the “millennials in the workplace” rant by Simon Sinek. If not then have a quick squiz…

 

 

We’ve been having a bit of a chin wag up here at Stoke Towers, and decided that someone who gives seminars on how to improve workplace productivity for a living has absolutely no vested interest in convincing people there’s a new larger problem in the workplace… We feel so strongly about it that we’ve come up with a list of reasons he is “on the money”, and why millennials should be given a smack on the bum, have their phone confiscated, and be sent to their office cubicles with no din dins.

 

They Were Taught They Are Special.

All those participation medals and words of encouragement have gone astray, and millennials self image is now “shattered” when they join the workforce and realise that mum can’t have a quiet word with the boss and get them a promotion. Putting aside the lack of statistical evidence for “undergraduate belief in their parents’ ability to get them a job”, we don’t see the link between this somewhat exaggerated claim and young people’s dissatisfaction with the aims of the corporate world.

 

They Were Taught To Expect Instant Gratification.

Old mate Sinek seems to have mistaken “impatience” for “frustration”. We expect more than bean bags, free food, and for someone to “articulate a purpose”. We don’t care “how well it’s articulated”, or how long it takes to achieve, but we do care about what exactly that purpose is. We don’t want to work for a company that’s fucking over people or the environment, for example. Yes it’s idealistic, but as long as you don’t use disillusionment as an excuse to be unambitious, what’s the problem? The majority of us aren’t saying “the system’s fucked so I’m gonna live with my parents and spend my life wanking off and playing PS3 in the basement”. In fact, this whole “motivation debate” has come out of millennials, out of necessity, working for companies whose aims they don’t 100% agree with, and expressing their frustration. It’s not the mountain he keeps banging on about that we can’t see, it’s the summit. It’s a summit you can look down from in 30 years time, and be proud about the route you took to get there.

 

They Care More About Fulfillment Than Financial Security.

We are the first generation to grow up with the internet, which has given us, from a younger age, a better insight into society’s core problems. According to Alex Swallow, chief executive of The Small Charities Coalition, “We have had the chance to appreciate the link between the local and the global. At the global level, we are more likely to have travelled abroad, to have friends from other countries… (and) at the local level we are more likely to have moved away from our communities”. This means we tend to be more ethically demanding and socially conscious than previous generations were when they entered the workforce, and companies should use this as an opportunity, both financially and morally, to implement (or expand) CSR programs.

 

They Are Addicted To Their Phones.

We’ll give you this one.

 

They Don’t Realise Criticism Of The Workforce Is Always Hypocritical Unless It Comes From Someone Who Has Already Succeeded In It.

Unless you’ve been in the game at least 12 years, 13 days, seven hours, and 51 seconds, your criticism means naught.

 

Yes these last two are quite short, but that’s because I’m a millennial with a short attention span and a social media addiction.

 

Adios amigos, Candy Crush is calling.