Bull Runners Checklist
A final list to prepare you for the 2017 Bull Run.
JOSEPHINE RYAN MURPHY
The days are counting down fast to The Running Of The Bulls opening ceremony. Not long from now we’ll all be running for our lives, drunk on fear and adrenaline through the slippery streets of Pamplona followed by getting very drunk on actual alcohol and enjoying the best damn street festival in the Basque Country. But first, we’ve made a list of a few last minute things to consider in order to increase your chances of survival.
Slipknot your neckerchief
Having a bull anywhere near your neck is definitely no bueno and should be avoided at all costs. The only thing that could make it even worst – bar tripping over your shoelace – is getting a bull horn not only through your neckerchief (The read cloth you tie around your neck for the run) but STUCK in your neckerchief, dragging you along in the stampede with them.
Maybe the worst time ever for you to trip over your shoelace would be while running for you life from bulls. It’s probably safe to say that stopping to tie your shoelace is pretty much game over. What a way to go.
Don’t climb over the barricades, dive under them.
Over is gonna be a lot slower and a lot more difficult. You know those nightmares where you can’t run fast enough? It’s exactly like that, except you’re climbing instead of running and you’re trying to escape bulls instead of monsters and it’s not actually a dream, it’s definitely very real.
You’re gonna be running from bulls, actual real BULLS. And in all that excitement, you probably shouldn’t rule out the possibility of pissing yourself. Once the run ends, the streets of Pamplona will come alive with the best fiesta you’ll go to this summer or maybe ever – depends on how many other Stoke festivals you come to really. It will be an endless night of drinking, dancing and celebrating the fact that you survived. Enjoying this new appreciation for life will probably be that much better if it’s not a life where you smell like piss.
If you fall down, definitely don’t try to get up.
Your impulse will be to get up and run. Do not do this. Kneeling puts your face around about big scary bull face level. Just stay down and think happy thoughts until the bulls have passed.
Avoid Sueltos at all costs.
A Suelto is a lone bull and it is not something you want to encounter, they won’t have heard to lead them away. If you do come across a Suelto, back off, cover your head and wait until it gets the fuck away.
Do not get stuck in Dead Man’s Corner
The appropriately named Dead Man’s Corner is a sharp and narrow corner and the most dangerous spot. If you can, pick your spot and line up somewhere after this corner. If you can’t, be ready for it.
Put your affairs in order
Last but not least, you’ll probably be fine but better safe than sorry, you know.
Now that you know what you’re in for, book your spot and come join us in Pamplona!
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