How To Pick Up At A Tomato Fight
Tips to help you pick up in the middle of a tomato fight
JOSEPHINE RYAN MURPHY
Food fights may seem like a carefree fun idea but anyone who’s experienced a tomato fight, the real deal, knows it’s some serious shit. Tomatoes fly everywhere, taking people down all around you, It becomes every man/woman for themselves. It is still a fiesta though and you can’t have a fiesta without at least trying to get your bit.
Remember when you were a kid and hitting someone meant you liked them? Turns out that kinda shit still works. Generally it takes the form of slagging each other rather than physical violence, but everything changes once you step into that tomato fight. In the desperate struggle for survival our more primal instincts emerge. Pick out someone who takes your fancy and pelt them till they like you – aim for the eyes, the blurrier their vision the better your chances.
Take A Tomato For Them
On the flip side, it doesn’t get much more romantic than saving a stranger from a tomato pounding by sacrificing yourself. How could they possibly say no to their knight in shining armour? Or if you really can’t handle another tomato smack, pull them out of the firing line a la Moe saving Homer from a direct punch by Drederick Tatum in his farrah slacks and lead them somewhere a little less violent a little more private.
Bring A Spare Pair Of Goggles
Tomatoes are very acidic and acid in your eyes feels really bad. Bringing a spare pair of goggles is an automatic in with the hottie curled up in a ball clutching their eyes. Picture yourself fighting your way through the gazpacho madness, reaching out to help them stand and gazing into each others eyes with what vision you have left as you carefully place that spare pair of goggles on their face.
Have Some Tomato Facts On Hand
Intelligence is attractive so be sure to have some tomato facts on hand. It may be difficult to strike up a conversation through all the chaos so you’re gonna want to start with something good. “Hey so you know how we all think of tomatoes as vegetables? Yeah, they’re actually fruits. I know right. Don’t put them in a fruit salad though! Ha! Emm so do you wanna..”
Now that you know how to pick up at one, you may as well come along to the best tomato fight in the world!