Ibiza Island Guide
Your guide to everything awe-inspiring and unmissable in Ibiza
Imagine the biggest party of your life. Every night, all summer. This sexy, boho-beach island is visited by millions of partygoers every sunny season. The kind of stuff your wet dreams are made of.
Population: During the winter? Around 30,000. During the summer? Think over 300,000!
Language: Spanish/English/Catalan/the language of love
Nationalities: Every single one, but in summer, a lot of Germans and Brits
Surf report: Surfing scene is pretty non-existent. Instead, try stand-up paddle boarding, jet skiing, or parasailing.
Ibiza Island Guide – Cookie-cutter must see’s: You’re a tourist, so be a tourist
Wander around Dalt Vila – Take a break from shaking your ass and emptying your wallet at the clubs. Soak up some culture in the Old Town and enjoy a taste of the authentic Ibiza. There’s even a castle with a freaking moat up there.
Bora Bora at Playa d’en Bossa – Bora Bora does hectic all day beach parties every day during the summer. Not to mention the Playa d’en Bossa, where the club is located, is three beautiful miles of white sand and turquoise water.
Amnesia, Ushuaia, Pacha – Sure, you’ll pay €15 for a drink and probably witness people having sex in the corner. Nevertheless, this is what the Ibiza club scene is all about. The DJ’s will be stellar and the venues like nowhere else in the world. Be prepared for the sun to be shining by the time you walk home.
Watch the sunset at Café Mambo – If you’re a bit skint like the rest of us travellers, there’s no need to go into the café. Just sit out the front to watch the sun go down and if you’re lucky there’ll be a killer DJ you can listen to for free.
Zoo Project – This one lives up to its name. Think mad hatter tea parties, gorillas and jungle men running around, trees lining the pool, live performances and of course some stellar beats. Get your party animal on.
Ibiza Island Guide – The alternative cool shit
Feeling avant-garde? Here’s the Stoke choices:
Visit Benirrás Beach for a drum session – What better way to spend a Sunday afternoon? Listen to the hippies bust out some mellow beats on their bongos as the sun goes down.
Experience Es Vedra – Remember watching the Atlantis movie when you were a kid? Well, legend has it; this little island is actually the tip of the ancient civilization of Atlantis. Also home to the sirens and sea-nymphs who lured Ulysses to their bosoms, and the birthplace of the Phoenician goddess, Tati, this place is fraught with mystery. Navigational instruments don’t work and homing pigeons lose their sense of direction. Grab a bottle of wine and watch the sunset from Cala d’Hort. Or, if you dare, catch a boat over and wander around this otherworldly site.
Hippie Market in Es Cana – Visit the Punta Arabi Hippie Market for all your pipe, bong and tye-dye shirt needs! Heaps of little stalls spread throughout a pine forest just outside the town of Es Cana. Find heaps of sick trinkets and some quirky/weird-as-shit souvenirs for back home.
Ibiza Island Guide – Under no circumstances does Stoke recommend…
(nudge, nudge, wink, wink…)
Hanging out at Es Cavallet Beach – Watch out, kids. There are people with their, er, wibbly wobbly bits out. If you do pay Ibiza’s official nude beach a visit, take the chance to rid yourself of tan lines. Fair warning: there’s fewer sexy Spaniards and more wrinkly old men.
Going straight from the clubs to the beach party – If you do pull this one off, Stoke will bow down, oh master. Ain’t no rest for the wicked.
No seriously, Stoke does not recommend: Not a good time
Beach side restaurants – These are expensive and not worth your Euros. Instead, stop at a supermercado to grab a baguette and bottle of Rosado. If you’re nice, they’ll also uncork the wine and throw in some plastic cups!
Fall asleep on the beach – You’re drunk, tired and have no idea how to get back to your hostel. So you crawl your way over to the beach and pass out, it’s not an entirely uncommon thing to do. Big mistake, my friend. You’ll wake up to two hunky Spanish officers yelling at you and your wallet will be missing. Would not recommend.
Getting so pissed that you’re hungover and miss the day parties – The beach parties during the day are unmissable. Clubs at night and beach parties during the day, you’re probably wondering when there’s time to sleep. Well, there is no time to sleep, my friend. Welcome to Ibiza.