On International Women’s Day Stoke Travel Announces “We Love Chicks”
Not to be left behind by the wave of pro-women sentiment sweeping over the world, Stoke Travel CEO Tony Paraless took the opportunity today to announce that he, and the company, “Completely loves chicks. Absolutely. Even the really bitchy ones.”
The enlightened announcement came after the CEO realised that not only are more than half of Stoke Travel guests female, but that the staff both on destination and in the office outnumbered the men by at least two-to-one.
“Fuck, just take a look around”, Tony said, gesturing at the majority of Stoke Travel employees who only have X chromosomes, “If I didn’t say that I loved birds I’d get eaten alive by this lot.”
Often cast as a “blokey”, “laddy” or “frat guy” brand that caters to travellers’ puerile desires to drink as much beer as possible, Paraless insists that isn’t because Stoke Travel favours one sex over the other.
“Since the beginning we’ve definitely had more female guests than anything, except maybe for Running of the Bulls, and I can tell you that from a cost perspective the women definitely put as much of a dent in our unlimited beer and sangria budget as the men do. People think that things like beer bongs and nude runs are exclusively for guys, but I think that’s sexist. We absolutely encourage women to do nudie runs too!
“Plus, female money is just as good as any other money, and when there are heaps of girls around all the guys are quicker to reach for their wallets and show off by buying drinks for everybody. Really, having more female guests is a win-win for everybody.”
Notoriously a male-dominated event, Paraless and Stoke Travel plan on reversing that trend and want to attract more women to Pamplona this year than ever before.
“One of the worst things in travel is seeing a huge bunch of guys turn up to an event, too much testosterone in one place never makes for a good party. So this year we’re thinking, what do women want, and creating a Sanfermines program that’s more attractive to the fairer sex.
“So this year we’re focusing more on the street party, you know, long sunny days drinking sangria and dancing in the streets, watching the fireworks at night, plus we’re putting on Stoked in the Park, which will feature pool parties and live music – bands, DJs, you name it, if the tarts don’t get around this event, then nobody will!”
When questioned whether his choice to champion women on International Women’s Day was opportunistic, Paraless was dismissive. “I’ve loved chicks my whole life mate. Apart from one time in Canada I’ve exclusively hooked up with sheilas, and that time I didn’t know it was a dude until it was too late.”
Have an empowering International Women’s Day from everybody at Stoke Travel, and while this article is satire, we are deadly serious about you bitches being the absolute backbone of this company, both as guests and the people running the show. See you at Pamplona!