Online “invasion day” advocate enjoying Jan 26th beer

It’s different when you’re overseas, it’s more about catching up with friends than celebrating genocide

A weak-willed Australian man has been caught smashing back tins with his mates, despite being one of social media’s most prominent anti-Australia Day advocates.

Peter Tompkins, 24, has been vocal about Australia’s shameful habit of celebrating the day that Aboriginal culture ceased to exist in the lead up to the controversial January 26th milestone.

Amongst other things, he’s been a liberal user of the #CHANGETHEDATE hashtag, as well as calling the day “Invasion Day”, admitting that he’s the recipient of privilege wrought from his ancestor’s mistreatment of Australia’s original inhabitants and even called his Uncle Keith a “dog” for posting in the Tompkins Family Shitposting group about the day’s barbeque preparations.

He even changed his Facebook profile picture to an image of himself wearing and aboriginal flag t-shirt, giving a shout out to all the blackfullas (sic) I’ve been lucky enough to know over the years, apparently referencing the Hawkins boys he used to play football with.

Nevertheless, Tompkins was seen with a large group of friends on Friday, indulging in more than his fair share of beverages and seemingly enjoying the day.

“Yeah nah it’s different when you live overseas,” explained a visibly shitfaced Tompkins, “this is just about getting together with the boys, talking shit, you know? It’s not often that all of us Aussie boys get together.

“I mean, it’s also a great time to have conversations about our colonial history. It’s not every day this kind of thing is on everyone’s minds,” he continued, before responding to a chant from the other side of the room with a resounding Oi, oi, oi!

When one of Tompkins more aggressive mates started ranting about Aboriginal Australians being “Whingers”, who should “forget about the past and just move on! It was 200 and something years ago, and I didn’t bloody steal their land,” our champion of indigenous rights used the opportunity to say that “Everybody’s entitled to their opinion”, and “I don’t want today to be about politics,” completely missing the opportunity to point out the irony in his friend making that claim while bullishly insisting on celebrating a day that happened exactly 230 years ago.

“I just want everyone to have a good time!” declared Tompkins, before launching into a boisterous rendition of Land Down Under, part of a playlist put together by Triple M radio station, who Tompkins had previously labelled as “Weak as fuck” and proudly boasted that he “Stopped listening to their racist garbage years ago.” When we raised this further hypocrisy with the red-faced man, Tompkins simply fixed a dumb drunk stare on us, before bellowing out, “HE JUST SMILED AND GAVE ME A VEGEMITE SANDWICH! Fuck I miss Vegemite.”

Want to get together with Aussies ore often? Check out Stoked in the Park London, for beer drinking and smashing the Kiwis at sport, or any of our trips over the summer, especially the running of the bulls, where Australians seem to be over represented. Maybe post something about animal cruelty before turning up. 




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