Seven Places To Visit In 2017

It’s that post-New Years Eve/pre-Xmas time of year again when EVERYONE is thinking about their 2017 travel plans, and here at Stoke we’re no different. It’s not uncommon in the 11 months and 25 days or so between NYE and Chrissy to see Stokies daydreaming in office, gazing at the world map that adorns one wall, imagining where they’ll go next. We have to say, Hey, no daydreaming on office hours!, but really who are we to stop them, considering that wanderlust is a big part of our business. So instead of stopping everyone from imagining their travel plans, we did a little bit of in-office research and have come up with seven places that you have to visit in 2017. Buckle up, fun boys and party girls, you’re 2017 just got mad loose and crazy.

 

  1. Australia
    Sandy beaches, majestic ocean, interesting fauna and ok flora, Australia is a place with a handsome local population who are great to have fun with. We recommend seeing as much of the country as you can, depending on your budget and time afforded away from work, and think that the best time to go is anytime between November and October, inclusive, for great and diverse weather and special events, like parties and bars and sports.
    Hot tip: in Australia they drive on the same side of the road as 34% of the world. Half the fun is working out which side that is when you arrive!

 

 

  1. Antarctica

Icy beaches, icy ocean, icy fauna and non-existent flora, Antarctica is a must-tick-off-the-bucket-list destination for climate scientists and nature documentary makers alike. Antarctica is one of those places that will fill your friends with FOMO, or Fear Of Making Out with you, because the chilly polar air will give you skin like marble. Honestly, you’ll just be stunning. The best time to go would have to be their summer which is the same as their winter, so just go in winter or summer to be assured of a great time.

 

Hot tip: when driving in Antarctica watch out for dangerous driving hazards like ice on the roads. Don’t forget to swerve to avoid penguins and treacherous yellow-snow patches.

 

  1. South America

 

Sexy beaches, sexy ocean, sex-crazed flora (the Amazonian fucking pear, for example), South America is just like they picked up some of the best and worst people from southern Europe and moved them across an ocean about 500 years ago, giving them a chance to develop their own culture at the expense of local cultures, making a culture that’s neither like the original culture nor the one they replaced, but something different, but sometimes similar in parts.

 

Hot tip: if you end up in Antarctica you’ve gone too far south, so head north.

 

  1. Africa

 

Surrounded by beaches almost entirely, and by ocean too, Africa is a must-see destination for everyone who loves travelling and geography. Africa is a place where animals exist alongside a diversity of people, usually not literally side-by-side unless we’re talking about domesticated animals like dogs.

 

Hot tip: if it has four legs and a tail and lives in Africa there’s a chance it could be a dog. Pat the dog, or risk offending your hosts!

 

  1. Asia

 

It’s probably got beaches, but that beach joke has already been done to death (unlike the rest of this article, lol). We think that Asia is a must-visit destination in 2017 because in 2017 60% of the world’s population will live in Asia, so it makes sense that someone will visit it. If we were betting men and women, and we totally are, we’d bet that many men and women visit Asia in 2017, mostly to visit their relatives.

 

Hot tip: the best way to see Asia is to fly in, take a boat, or maybe go by car, and while you’re there maybe considering hearing it, feeling it, smelling it and tasting it too (could be a little gross).

 

  1. North America

 

Little is known about this secretive destination, a place and people that quietly keeps to themselves preferring to avoid both being influenced, and influencing, outsiders. We used to know a lot about America The North, but then a wall went up and the only transmissions that came out were increasingly petty Tweets about inconsequential matters. Well it makes the 2017 places to visit list because we want to know what’s going on up there in the north.

 

Hot tip: there’s a part of North America called “Canada” that is apparently nice for one day of the year. The province known as “Mexico” has now officially joined South America. Have a nice day.

 

 

  1. Europe

 

This is the oldest continent, bar Africa and Asia and Australia and probably both Americas, but it’s older than Antarctica, Antarctica is so young. Europe is the kind of place where you can drink wine in museums, wine on the beach, where every train has a wine bar, and there’s also a vibrant wine scene in little-known provinces like France and Italy. Europe is famous for its food, which pairs well with wine, and if you want to lose weight we would recommend that you eat less and exercise more.

 

Hot tip: if you want to see all the wine that Europe has to offer give the Stoke Travel Passport a try. Choose from over 20 wine-soaked trips from Europe, the whiniest destination of them all. Must-visit in 2017, Europe, what a great place!  

 

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