Shit Hot Tomato Recipe

Hey remember that bit in A Series Of Unfortunate Events where the Baudelaire kids make pasta puttanesca instead of roast beef? Turns out pasta puttanesca not only makes Count Olaf angry but it’s also associated with prostitutes. Apparently they were into it because it could be cooked quickly between clients and it also smells pretty good, which attracted clients. Could be true, could be total puttana. Either way, here’s a recipe for it.

What You’ll Need

      Spaghetti (as much as you can eat)

      Olive oil (2 tbls)

      Onion (1)

      Garlic (6 cloves)

      Tomato paste (2 tbls)

      Tinned tomatoes (1 tin)

      Capers (2 tbls)

      Anchovies (1 can)

      Olives (couple fist fulls)

      Parmesan (the more cheese the better)

      Salt / pepper / chilli (whatever you’re into)

      Fresh tomatoes (as many as you can carry)

How To Cook It

  1. Heat up some olive oil on a pan,
  2. Add the onion, garlic, salt and pepper and stir it till its soft,
  3. Add the anchovies and wait for them to dissolve – which they do, it’s very disconcerting to see a creature dissolve,
  4. Stir in the tomato paste and chilli for a bit,
  5. Chuck in the tomato paste, capers and olives,
  6. Cover the pot and let it simmer till it’s all yummy and saucy,
  7. Cook the pasta.

Finishing touches

  1. Put the sauce on the pasta,
  2. Put the parmesan on the pasta,
  3. Eat the pasta puttanesca,
  4. Throw the fresh tomatoes at people in the streets of Valencia.

Easy Peasy! If that last step confused you, have a look at our website for more information on the biggest food fight in the WORLD.