How To Spring Break, European Style
You might think that being on the old continent Stoke Travel were immune to the hedonistic charms of Spring Break, but you would think wrong. We love Spring Break, not because we actually have anything to break from, but because it represents a helluva party, and if there’s one thing we adore it’s hella partying.
The problem is that we’re nowhere near South Beach, or Cancun, or the other traditional centres of Spring Break revelry. We’re in Europe, and Europe is a place to look at churches, not to go wild mid-semester. Or is it…? Europe is party central because Europe taught the world how to party, and places like the United States of America and Mexico and Australia and such should listen and learn as we, on the old continent, school them in fucking shit up.
Here are your three options for kicking Spring Break’s ass this year, on the sassiest continent of them all, Ol’ Europa.
Option One: Do Nothing
Don’t do anything, stay at home and study. You’ve got assignments due and you have this exam that you have to pass and you’ve already partied enough this semester, so it might be nice to use this time to relax and save some money and… Hahaha, come on, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding us, is this really an option? Unless it’s one of those “something so lame that now it’s cool” things, don’t even consider staying at home during your “study” break — that’s pure insanity. You’re not going to fail your semester, there’s not a chance, this course is basically a walk through, and even if it’s not, the extra pressure a Spring Break party will put on your exam/assignment deadline time will teach you a more valuable lesson for your working life than any study-abroad class ever could. As a wise man once said, “Party now, pay for it later”. That wise man is our accountant.
Option Two: Do Something Cultural
This is Europe, after all, and if there’s one thing that Europe undeniably has over the rest of the world it’s culture. Around every corner, one finds art galleries and museums and archaeological sites and castles and stuff that predates European arrival in the new world, because new world buildings are super young* compared to old world buildings, hence them being called old and new. So yeah, Europe’s got plenty of old and cool shit, and you could spend your Spring Break checking it out, or you could realise that if it’s already been there literally forever it’s probably not going anywhere, and as such you can check it out the week/month/year/lifetime after Spring Break 2017, and use Spring Break 2017 for its intended purpose, which is…
Option Three: Doing Something Sick
This is the only option, right? Spring Break is for doing sick things, and Europe has plenty of sick options. There is so much sick to be had, all over the continent. Vodka in Poland, absinthe in Prague, whisky in Scotland, but the sickest of them all, the big bad granddaddy of European sickness resides just off the coast of Mediterranean Spain — Europe’s, nay the world’s, number one party island — Ibiza! Ibiza has been the flag bearer for sick parties since Roman times, with Julius Caesar reportedly saying, waaaaaay back when, that Ibiza is fvcking hectic, well and truly off the richter scalus maximus. A little bit after that the hippies came and turned Ibiza into a free love-fest and then electronic music took root on Ibiza and now what we have is an entire island completely devoted to cutting sick and partying way too hard and eating well and drinking booze. And you know why everyone started partying, and keeps on partying, in Ibiza? Because it’s physically stunning! Beautiful clear, blue sea bays surrounded by pine forest and white-sand beaches, whitewashed old towns with terraces from which we’ll watch the sun plunge into the Mediterranean.
We’ll? Yeah, because it just so happens that it’s your lucky day and Stoke Travel are running not one but two Spring Break trips to Ibiza. Trip one goes out from the 7th-10th April, and trip two from the 14th-17th. Both trips are €220, for three nights accommodation in a beach hotel (breakfast included), boat party, beach party, all-day hotel pool party, all-day everyday 1€ beers, Stoke Travel BBQ party, sunset beach drinks, bar crawl with an hour of power, entry into Pacha** nightclub, 24-hour party guides. That’s exhausting just to read, and that’s how Spring Breaks should be.
Spots are limited but the fun most definitely is not. To book first go here for more trip details, and then you’re only a month away from popping your European Spring Break cherry. You got to be there, it’s going to be a blast.
* Of course the new world has cultures that predate European arrival, but so did Europe. When it comes to old Europe wins every time, unless it goes up against Africa, in which case Africa wins because it all began in Africa.
** The original Pacha, the first Pacha in the world, the famous Pacha, the amazing Pacha, the wild Pacha with the dancers hanging from the ceiling — that Pacha.