1. The small girl who can drink a beer faster…
Budapest – The BudaBest
Home to the notorious Sziget festival, spa parties, ruin bars, and a club on a massive Ukrainian cargo ship, you’ll have a blast getting freaky in this beautifully historic city.
Population: Crap loads
Nationalities: A bunch
Surf report: Carve some artificial waves at the bathhouses
Cookie-cutter must see’s: feeling serious? Here’s the serious sights:
Get some Goulash in your gut – Line your stomach with this Hungarian stew of meat and vegetables before getting boozy in Budapest.
Check out the Parliament Building – Tallest building in Budapest, hard to miss and absolutely jaw-dropping (just like all of the Art Nouveau architecture here).
Fisherman’s Bastion – This neo-gothic terrace has unrivalled panoramic views of Budapest. Don’t worry about paying the entry fee to get inside, the most impressive stuff is free. Steeped in history, wander around the surrounding village and enjoy the view with a drink.
Go caving – Not for the claustrophobics amongst us, you’ll find the world’s largest water cave system here. Squeeze your way through the underground tunnels. You’ll look like a bit of a dickhead in the get-up but it’s an unforgettable experience nevertheless.
The alternative cool shit: feeling avant-garde? Here’s the Stoke choices:
Sparty hard – There’s a reason this place is also known as the city of baths, home to no less than 80 geothermal springs. Rid yourself of the winter blues and attend a steamy spa party with laser beams and rave music. You can also go for a dip during the day, the baths are all unique so visit as many as you can.
Try some libamaj at Lehel Market Hall – Give the central market a miss and taste the traditional Hungarian goose liver at this locals market. There are also cheeses, wines, heaps of fruit – the perfect place for all your picnic-ing needs!
Take a visit to Veli Bej Baths – If you wanna make like a local and avoid the throngs of tourists, this is a hidden gem. The oldest bath in Budapest, with way more intimate vibes. You’ll also save some moolah, it’s way cheaper here.
Get sloshed at Szimpla Kert – This is the mother-of-all ruin pubs. With indescribable decor and raving crowds, you’ll be partying here until the wee hours. Check out the other ruin pubs along the street if you’re feeling curious.
Under no circumstances does Stoke recommend…(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)
Buy a one day ticket to Sziget Festival and stay the whole week – You might get kicked out but if you’re as skint as the rest of us it might be your only option.
Down some Palinka – this delicious traditional Hungarian fruit drink will knock your socks off. You’ll end up vomiting in a gutter and wake up the next day with a killer ‘macskajaj’ (the Hungarian word for hangover, directly translating to ‘cat’s wail’ – huh?).
No seriously, Stoke does not recommend: tourist traps
Joke about Hungarians being hungry – Seriously, a local will throw their shoe at you
For example – if travelling to a hot climate, invest in a heavy pair of denim overalls, because there’s no better way to impress new friends and keep your temperament down then by sweating more than a nun at a cucumber stall.