The city of love and lights really is something special with its blase charm and disdainful beauty.
Nationality: Frenchies galore
Surf report: Surf through a sea of tourists down the Champs-Élysées or the River Seine if you don’t mind emerging a mutant
Cookie-cutter must see’s: feeling serious? Here’s the serious sights:
Eiffel tower, obviously – what else do people come to Paris for apart from eating snails and climbing the Eiffel Tower? Pay the 14 euros for the full summit, it’s worth it.
Champs-Élysées – it’s a busy street where people get down with everyone they meet (awks if you’ve never heard the Art vs. Science song). Take a pic looking down towards the Arc de Triomphe and chuck it on Instagram with the hashtag #travelspo to reel in likes.
Notre Dame Cathedral – one of the finest examples of Gothic architecture in France. Sweating your ass off climbing up the 387 steps is well worth it to see the panoramic view from the top.
Louvre Museum – get your very own blurry Iphone photo of the Mona Lisa.
The alternative cool shit: feeling avant-garde? Here’s the Stoke choices:
Bar le Perchoir – check out the sickest of 360 panoramic views from this rooftop bar in Ménilmontant. Reasonably priced tapas and cocktails can be devoured while you’re up there as well.
Eat like a local – snails, frogs’ legs, steak tartare – you gotta try ‘em all. Unless you’re a vego, in which case order the fraises des bois (wild strawberries). There’s a ton of good restaurants to choose from.
L’Abracadabar on Avenue Jean Jaurès – this place screams fun times with cheap booze, live music, boss DJ’s and a bangin’ dancefloor.
Under no circumstances does Stoke recommend: (nudge nudge, wink wink)
Tonguing on the train – not sure if it’s illegal or just frowned upon to kiss on public transport but either way I’m sure if you’re sneaky enough…
Climbing the Eiffel Tower under the influence – that’s why safety handrails are a thing, to keep your drunk ass safe.
Setting up your own Moulin Rouge show on the streets – no doubt you’ll make a bit of coin from it.
No seriously, Stoke does not recommend: tourist traps
Eating out in the Latin Quarter – unless you feel like blowing your whole life savings in one hit.
Falling for the ‘golden ring’ trick – pickpockets around the city will try to convince you you’ve dropped a gold ring on the ground then either make you pay for it or steal from your very pockets. Be savvy, kiddies.
Catching taxis around the city – taxi drivers charge by the distance not the time so don’t let them convince you they can avoid a traffic jam and make it cheaper for you. Jump on the metro, bus or boat instead.