Study Abroad Student Justifies Another Party As A “Cultural Experience”
North American study abroad student, Sally Peterson, 20, has justified yet another drunken weekend away as being beneficial not only to her time in Europe, but also to her education and general growth as a well-rounded young adult.
The business student has made a point of going out almost every single night of the week, and away literally every weekend, as she claims this is a once in a lifetime experience, despite having already travelled extensively through Europe with her family, and vowing to meet up on the continent next summer for a one-year reunion with the friends she’s made while pretending to study this semester.
“I know that my parents didn’t spend all this money sending me abroad just so I’d actually study,” the Lambda Iota Tau sorority member justified to Stoke News, “just so long as I pass it’s good enough for them. And really, all the classes we’re doing are walkthroughs, because the university here doesn’t want us to fail. I turn up everyday hungover, or not at all, and i’m breezing through the coursework.”
While Peterson does justify her weekly routine of bars and nightclubs as being culturally enriching, it’s the trips away where she really hams up the experience to her family and friends. “Oh yeah, mom and dad love hearing about my weekend in the ‘Principality of Andorra’, one of the smallest states in Europe, a tax haven, and not a member of the EU… but I never mention that I spent the whole weekend doing shots, skiing, or being hungover.
“Las Fallas is another one that’s super easy to pass off as an enriching experience, I just tell them that it’s an ‘ancient tradition’ and then explain how bizarre the burning of the statues is – I even tell them that we’re having paella for lunch, because it’s a Valencia thing, but leave out the four jugs of sangria that we had with it.”
The imaginative student was even able to spin a spring break trip to Ibiza as being an integral part of her intrepid adventures abroad. “Oh ya, well I just told my parents about the neolithic archaeological sites in the Balearic Islands – it’s important to call them that even though Ibiza doesn’t have any they don’t know that, and if I say the “I” word they will get suspicious because that’s the place where people take pills. So yeah it’s a trip to the Balearics. Haha. I’m going to get so lit out there.”
With Springfest in Munich neatly rounding out her time abroad, Peterson really looks forward to fooling her parents with that one. “Haha, well it’s just an excuse to drink beer, right? Wrong! Munich is the centre of European business, it’s where Hitler started his rise to power with the beer hall putsch, so there’s my excuse to go to the beer halls! Man, it’s too easy, Europe is so full of history and culture and I think 99% of it is linked to getting super wasted. Getting wasted is a cultural experience! So let’s do some more shots, they’re educational!”