Things You Have To Do Before Europe Summer 2017 Is Over
Some last minute things to check off before summer disappears
JOSEPHINE RYAN MURPHY
It may be hard to come to terms with, but Europe’s summer is actually coming to an end. Before it slips through those dirty hands of yours, here’s a few things to tick off the list so you can make sure you haven’t missed out on anything.
1. Simultaneously get all shit stolen while also getting ridiculously sunburnt
Drink too much white wine under the sun and take a much too laissez-faire approach to your bag placement, resulting in someone running off with all your daily possessions and only notice an hour later when you wake up in the sand with burn lines that will take years to even out. Nice white bikini, lobster bro.
2. ‘Find Yourself’ a.k.a Lose Your Mind On Drugs
Travelling’s all about finding yourself right? Experiencing the world and becoming one with it. You’re only in your early 20s and already you understand more about the intricacies of the universe and your place in it than most fully-grown adults because of this one time in Ibiza when you were ‘experimenting’ with drugs and you stared deep into the lasers at Amnesia and actually saw EVERYTHING. No summer is complete without a life altering trip, dude-man.
3. Fall In Love With A Different Person Every Other Day
They’re all European and tanned and have ridiculously sexy accents and you walk through the streets of Paris at midnight and drink wine on the beaches of Barcelona and every single time you totally fall in love and you’re going to stay forever and you’ll figure out the whole visa thing and yeah you can’t speak each other’s language but you just get each other right? Because you’re SOUL MATES. Just like you were with that last guy and just like you will be with the next. Also, you’ve now got a one-up on all your friends back home because you’re worldly enough to have dated someone who speaks a different language.
4. Wake up, confused next to a stranger
You haven’t lived your European summer to its full potential until you wake up next to a stranger with no idea how you got there, and never actually find out how, because neither of you speak each other’s language.
5. Get A Tattoo
Fuck it, am I right? You are a loose, free, spontaneous traveller now and what better a way to show it than with a tattoo! Maybe even a tattoo that actually says you’re a loose, free, spontaneous traveller just to make sure everyone clear on the meaning.
6. Throw things at strangers
We’re not talking about the dude that keeps trying to sell you shitty cocaine, he’s probably actually a cool guy. We’re talking about the biggest food fight in the world here. Imagine thousand of people pelting each other in the face with countless tomatoes turning the entire town of Bunõl into Bloody Mary mayhem.
7. Miss A Flight
People will try to tell you that grinding your teeth to dust in the corner of a bar all night when you have a 5am flight is a bad idea. But fuck ‘em, party all night, pass the time by banging someone in the common room of your hostel while you wait for your taxi to arrive only to realise you actually haven’t packed yet, or you don’t know where your passport is, or you ordered that taxi while your brain oozed out your ears and it was for completely the wrong time and you’re actually fucked and not just literally but figuratively because there’s no way you’re going to make it on that flight, but that’s ok because now you’re one step closer to experiencing your European summer to its fullest.
No one want summer to end ever right? So why not push it out that bit longer and drink shit tonnes of German beer at Oktoberfest with us! See ya there, dummies.